Dear all, let me apologise for being such a bore on the series (except when I sat myself on fire in that first Chemistry lesson, I'm sure that premium entertainment) and also warn you that I shall side-track frequently in the next few minutes while the Earth spins slowly. *Cough, cough*
Oh yes, I had the fortune to run into Dr Szydlo in December when he re-enacted several of his suicidal attempts at Harrow Boys School, no less (yes, the famous Harrow Boys School where there are many dashing, aristocratic, young gentlemen), and after being extremely courteous and extremely approving of me, he happened to ask,

"So, did you pass chemistry, again?"

To which I replied "No." And then thought silently oh yes, just rub it in why don't you. You failed me and now you forgot?!?

Well, anyway, back to the point. I may have seemed to disappear for most of the time in Charles Darwin, but let me assure the world that the fire of Teenage Rebellion burnt as strong inside me as in anyone else-why else do you think I decided to draw naked fairies blatantly in front of teachers. Unfortunately, they were charmed (shows you a lot about teachers doesn't it?) and the Matron even asked me to do more portraits. I have to confess, the continual lack of insight from the teachers made me feel abashed.
Forgive me, but Mr Williams is the most awful teacher in existence (if he is a teacher at all). I admit his brain is as good as any textbook but the sheer snobbery he persisted to rub about himself is as pointless as the efforts of a stupid pussycat trying to go by as a tiger.

Dr Szydlo, on the other hand, inspired me greatly but I would advise him never to consider teaching the modern syllabus. I'm afraid these days, we simply do not have the ability to memorise the details of five complete experiments in one lesson and sometimes, I regret to say, excitement can have rather nasty consequences on a student's memory. I truly wonder when happened to "Dr Schizo" when his eye bulged like a balloon-we concluded that one of his less well known hobbies may involves dangerous chemicals and his eyeball.

Dr Wilde was as lovable as Grumpy in Snow White, truly lovely in every possible, way. I had a strange dream about him in a Roman Bath the other day with a lovely selection of female company; I have no idea what that was all about.

The lady teachers were flawless, Girls Rock!!!

Mr Warr-I have mixed feeling about him. Firstly, I am extremely antagonised towards him because he didn't pick me to be Head Girl. On another note, Vikki, Sally, the world, I did want to be Head Girl and I was extremely jealous of you both. If I had looked green on a couple of occasions, it's not because of the cabbage! But what really annoyed me was that Mr Warr did not have the courage to tell me what was wrong with me. In the last interview he was like,

"Blah, blah, blah… You were such a lovely student, you were amazing, a perfect specimen etc.etc."

Well, why the hell wasn't I Head Girl then?
Okay, okay, I am over this now, so chill, put down your scared expressions,

Old Meng here ain't gonna to bite 'cha.

Oh yes, embarrassed confession here. I lied when I bet with Anna about who I fancied: I did fall in love with Ingram, because he reminded me of Sir Gawain in that horrible, bleak Ipswich landscape. So Anna, how much do I owe you?

Love to the birds and the ice cream van man,

Meng

P.S. I am glad I did this instead of Space Cadets, those poor, maltreated fellows…

P.P.S. I didn't miss Mr Stanley on purpose. He's truly cool but the glasses don't do him favours.